I am so glad that this is the last week of school. I am looking forward to some peace and quite.
Cheer - is still being a problem. She thinks that rules don't seem to apply to her.
She has this girl friend. I found out that her parents are separated and she seems to be one of the breadwinners for the family. She is 18 and has a job, but she seems to try to pull on everyone's heartstrings, including Cheers. She told her that she did not have money for gas and was going to loose her job. So Cheer (lost some brain cells) and let her use her ATM/credit card to put gas in her car. The girl went crazy and pretty much cleaned out her bank account.
I found this out, because I insisted that Cheer go on line with the bank and show me why she could not pay her car insurance, that is past due. I am so tire of reminding everyone in this family about their obligations. Every time I see one of my children, I have to remind one of them about what payment they have to make - car, insurance, phone.
I am the kind of person that likes to be in control of situations, but enough is enough.
Anyway, Cheer is now in even more trouble, and she doesn't seem to think that she did anything wrong. She said, she gave the girl permission to use her card, and the girl is going to pay her back this weekend. - Yea Right.....
I am just beside myself. She has to have her job, she has so many obligations - that she has gotten herself into, that I can;t insist that she quit her job.
I was so mad, that I could not sleep - 2:00 am close my eyes - 6:00 am, back up for the day.
I am headed for the Coffee pot.....
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
The trench got deeper
Last week was a really hard week. Things are busy at work, trying to close out the month.
D-Dad, was diagnosed with Diabetes and we are going to have to change our lifestyle - no more "hot-wing Tuesdays" :(
Cheer - really attempted to go wild.
On Saturday before Mothers Day - She decided that she wanted to have a Party. She did not come home, and really upset things.
So she was grounded, got her car taken away, and was not able to see her friends for 2 weeks. and then she was to be on probation for another 2 weeks, meaning - using her car on an as needed basis.
(Punishing her is actually punishing everyone in the house. She lets everyone know how unhappy she is. We have to take her to and from her job. Meaning someone has to alter their schedule.
Here is how the week went:
Monday. She missed the bus (on purpose) and then took her car to school. with a key that she had made
Tuesday - she scheduled some Friend time, into her work schedule and told me that she had to stay over at work. She came in at MIDNIGHT - ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. Of course that means that I did not get to bed at a decent hour that night.
Wednesday - She got a call from a friend who was upset. They both went to the mall, when I thought that she was at work. We found this out from the POLICE OFFICER - THAT CAME TO THE DOOR. (Her friends parents reported her missing) - really long story - Lets just say both Girls are now doubly in trouble.
Cheer got another two weeks added to her grounding. The loss of her Cell phone for a week,a nd some lectures. (Every time I see her I can't help but remind her.)
And a very stern warning that the next violation will result in more time grounded.
I hope that I don't have to do that, but I am prepared to if I need to.
D-Dad, was diagnosed with Diabetes and we are going to have to change our lifestyle - no more "hot-wing Tuesdays" :(
Cheer - really attempted to go wild.
On Saturday before Mothers Day - She decided that she wanted to have a Party. She did not come home, and really upset things.
So she was grounded, got her car taken away, and was not able to see her friends for 2 weeks. and then she was to be on probation for another 2 weeks, meaning - using her car on an as needed basis.
(Punishing her is actually punishing everyone in the house. She lets everyone know how unhappy she is. We have to take her to and from her job. Meaning someone has to alter their schedule.
Here is how the week went:
Monday. She missed the bus (on purpose) and then took her car to school. with a key that she had made
Tuesday - she scheduled some Friend time, into her work schedule and told me that she had to stay over at work. She came in at MIDNIGHT - ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. Of course that means that I did not get to bed at a decent hour that night.
Wednesday - She got a call from a friend who was upset. They both went to the mall, when I thought that she was at work. We found this out from the POLICE OFFICER - THAT CAME TO THE DOOR. (Her friends parents reported her missing) - really long story - Lets just say both Girls are now doubly in trouble.
Cheer got another two weeks added to her grounding. The loss of her Cell phone for a week,a nd some lectures. (Every time I see her I can't help but remind her.)
And a very stern warning that the next violation will result in more time grounded.
I hope that I don't have to do that, but I am prepared to if I need to.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Mothers Day, and the night before
Wow, what a Mothers day. I didn't really get to enjoy it all the way, because I was dealing with Cheer and her wild night out.
It all started on Saturday, Cheer left her My space messages logged on, and because I am an Mom, I looked (I know it is like looking in her Diary, but sometimes, you just gotta) I am glad that I did, because she had all these schemes planned. She went to a boy's house that I don't know, along with one of her girl friends, and another friend. They told me they were going to a movie.
The actually went to a party. The whole night, I paced the floor, called her repeatedly and did everything I could to get her to come home to no avail. I probably should have tried to find out where she was and gone and picked her up, but I was too mad and It was very late. I did not get to sleep until after 1:00 am, then, I woke up at 3:00 and 4:00 am to check to see if she was home and then back up at 9:00 to go to Church with MIL.
I ended up calling and leaving a tearfull message on her cell phone. She called back and said she was sorry and was coming home at 3:00 PM. She felt bad, but it did not change the fact that she dis-obeyed and did somethings that I am very disapointed in.
I just got one Teen over his terrible teens, and now I am having to do it again. For now, Cheer is grounded for 2 weeks from her friends and the next time she sees the "boyfriend" it will be here.
D-man was a real dream on Mothers day. He stayed around, which is a feat for a 22 Year Old. He consoled me because he knew I was upset about Cheer, and he even barbqued steaks on the Grill. The even turned out really good. I am so proud of him, he has gone from a really depressed and withdrawn person, to a bright and caring young man. I knew he could do it. Some of his unwise choices in his life, were sucking he life out of him, I think that he can see that now, but while he was in the middle of the mess, he was not aware of it.
F-man was the most thoughtful young man on Mothers day. He had to work and because I went to Church, I did not see him until after 10:00 PM when he got home. He came in with a beautiful little vase of flowers and a really touching card. It said that I was truly his MOM. I was really touched. Thank you F-man, you really made my Mothers day.
I also visited my Mother and Dad at thier weekend hang out. I took Mom some new earrings and a minature rose plant that she can plant in the yard. I hope she does. They make the pretiest little bushes, full of roses when they grow up.
Dad made a crawfish boil and everyone enjoyed the wonderful food. He loves cooking for everyone.
It all started on Saturday, Cheer left her My space messages logged on, and because I am an Mom, I looked (I know it is like looking in her Diary, but sometimes, you just gotta) I am glad that I did, because she had all these schemes planned. She went to a boy's house that I don't know, along with one of her girl friends, and another friend. They told me they were going to a movie.
The actually went to a party. The whole night, I paced the floor, called her repeatedly and did everything I could to get her to come home to no avail. I probably should have tried to find out where she was and gone and picked her up, but I was too mad and It was very late. I did not get to sleep until after 1:00 am, then, I woke up at 3:00 and 4:00 am to check to see if she was home and then back up at 9:00 to go to Church with MIL.
I ended up calling and leaving a tearfull message on her cell phone. She called back and said she was sorry and was coming home at 3:00 PM. She felt bad, but it did not change the fact that she dis-obeyed and did somethings that I am very disapointed in.
I just got one Teen over his terrible teens, and now I am having to do it again. For now, Cheer is grounded for 2 weeks from her friends and the next time she sees the "boyfriend" it will be here.
D-man was a real dream on Mothers day. He stayed around, which is a feat for a 22 Year Old. He consoled me because he knew I was upset about Cheer, and he even barbqued steaks on the Grill. The even turned out really good. I am so proud of him, he has gone from a really depressed and withdrawn person, to a bright and caring young man. I knew he could do it. Some of his unwise choices in his life, were sucking he life out of him, I think that he can see that now, but while he was in the middle of the mess, he was not aware of it.
F-man was the most thoughtful young man on Mothers day. He had to work and because I went to Church, I did not see him until after 10:00 PM when he got home. He came in with a beautiful little vase of flowers and a really touching card. It said that I was truly his MOM. I was really touched. Thank you F-man, you really made my Mothers day.
I also visited my Mother and Dad at thier weekend hang out. I took Mom some new earrings and a minature rose plant that she can plant in the yard. I hope she does. They make the pretiest little bushes, full of roses when they grow up.
Dad made a crawfish boil and everyone enjoyed the wonderful food. He loves cooking for everyone.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Theyre always talking, but not to me.
I am so frustrated with Cheer these days. I know it is just because she is growing up before my eyes, and I guess I am just not ready for it. I feel like she is not being responsible. She has been spending time with her new best friend, BB. BB is out of school, has her own car, loves to go see her many friends and is draging Cheer with her. I have had several run in's about Cheer being late for Curfew. I have called her on her Cell and she ignores. I know that I am just wanting to keep my kids at home with me, that way I know they are safe. It is so hard to let go.
F-man is kind of doing his own thing and D-man has done his own thing for quite some time.
F-man needs to abide by the rules just a tad more. He seems to be in his own little world a little. He goes to his friends house and does not come home until it is bedtime. I know I agreed to let him stay and he is just making up for lost time, because he is experiencing freedoms that he has not had before, but I am not seeing a lot of progress. He has not really saved any money, even though I have not seen him bring home any purchase and he knows that I want him to get his own car. I finally asked him where all of his money is going, and he said that he spent it and that his friends needed to borrow some. I put my foot down and told him that I wanted to see him put his money in the bank and not to spend any more, unless it is on himself, for clothes or something.
Tonight we are going to have to sit down and have a discussion with both of them. F-man need to be up front about where he is going, and when he will be home.
I need to let Cheer go a little more, I know she is just being a typical teen, but now I understand what my Mom went thru when I told her that I was moving out when I was 20. (I know that seems old to some, but I was a very shy and sheltered kid.) At 20, I probably had the maturity of someone several years younger. My mom, seemed very upset and I seemed determined to get out. I don't regret moving out. I had my own little apartment and my own friends and I felt like I could not entertain in my tiny little bedroom with my twin bed. I was working full time. I did not make much, but I found a room-mate and we took out on our own. It was great. We had get togethers, and I never looked back but now I understand why my Mom was upset.
I did not really get her up to speed, I just came home one day and said, I am going.
I blindsided her.
Kids don't always know what is best, and they don't always act responsibly. I checks Cheer's my space and she puts on there how much fun she is having, and sometimes says how irresponsible they are being. Like driving too fast. I have to practically hold my self down to not go and get her keys, her cell, and lock her in her room.
OK. Rant is over. I do want my Daughter to have friends, to be making fun memories and so that is why, I don't just lock her in her room and not let her have experiences. I just have to pray really hard that she comes thru her teen years alive and well. And she is not going to be a junior in High school for 3 more years because she is having to much fun and not being a good enough student.
F-man is kind of doing his own thing and D-man has done his own thing for quite some time.
F-man needs to abide by the rules just a tad more. He seems to be in his own little world a little. He goes to his friends house and does not come home until it is bedtime. I know I agreed to let him stay and he is just making up for lost time, because he is experiencing freedoms that he has not had before, but I am not seeing a lot of progress. He has not really saved any money, even though I have not seen him bring home any purchase and he knows that I want him to get his own car. I finally asked him where all of his money is going, and he said that he spent it and that his friends needed to borrow some. I put my foot down and told him that I wanted to see him put his money in the bank and not to spend any more, unless it is on himself, for clothes or something.
Tonight we are going to have to sit down and have a discussion with both of them. F-man need to be up front about where he is going, and when he will be home.
I need to let Cheer go a little more, I know she is just being a typical teen, but now I understand what my Mom went thru when I told her that I was moving out when I was 20. (I know that seems old to some, but I was a very shy and sheltered kid.) At 20, I probably had the maturity of someone several years younger. My mom, seemed very upset and I seemed determined to get out. I don't regret moving out. I had my own little apartment and my own friends and I felt like I could not entertain in my tiny little bedroom with my twin bed. I was working full time. I did not make much, but I found a room-mate and we took out on our own. It was great. We had get togethers, and I never looked back but now I understand why my Mom was upset.
I did not really get her up to speed, I just came home one day and said, I am going.
I blindsided her.
Kids don't always know what is best, and they don't always act responsibly. I checks Cheer's my space and she puts on there how much fun she is having, and sometimes says how irresponsible they are being. Like driving too fast. I have to practically hold my self down to not go and get her keys, her cell, and lock her in her room.
OK. Rant is over. I do want my Daughter to have friends, to be making fun memories and so that is why, I don't just lock her in her room and not let her have experiences. I just have to pray really hard that she comes thru her teen years alive and well. And she is not going to be a junior in High school for 3 more years because she is having to much fun and not being a good enough student.
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