Black clouds over him

When will it slow down. The black cloud hanging over f-man is still there.

First of all, our goal is for him to move out soon. He has found a person that is interested in being a room mate, A girl he knew from school. I met her and she seemed nice. They are just friends, there is not romance going on. She has a 10 month old child and she is working as a security guard on the weekend, and in a restaurant during the week. I don't think that it will be easy for him, but I have decided that I just can't mother every kid I know. I feel bad that I have taken this attitude, but I seem to be the only person at the house that still even likes F. I think everyone is over him. I need to just sit back and let him go.

About the black cloud. This week was going to be another step in the right direction for him. He was going to get his own cell phone, and get off of our plan. I have been paying for his phone, and while it has not been a lot of money, it has been money and money is a little tight, because of some medical expenses, car payments, and feeding my extended family these days.

Even though I have been at my job for more than a year, the cut in pay that I took has affected us. It seems that we are living from paycheck to paycheck, and every little bit helps.

F-man, has an old car, but it seems to be sound, as long as he takes care of it. He has had some problems with it, but I thought that he had gotten all of the kinks out of it. He took it in for some repairs and withing a week the wheel fell off while he was driving it.

Then the other night, he was leaving a friends and he put the key in and it stuck in the ignition and he could not turn the car off. He did not know what to do, so his friend told him to open the hood and take the wire off the spark plugs. He tried to pull one off, and the car did not stop, so then his friend tried to pull off another one and it broke, still the car was running. (what the heck)...
they pulled off another one, it also snapped and then the car stopped.

I used to have a little car, that the sparks plug wires would slip off on and the car would start to run really rough, and that was with the wire still on the plug, just not good contact.

So I was back to running him back and forth to work, I really hate doing it, so I thought that on Monday, I would pick him up, take him to the bank to get his check cashed, go to "wally world" for spark plug wires and back over to the friends so that he could get the spark plug wires put back on and drive it to the shop so that I would not have to pick him up again the next day.

"Wally world" did not sell spark plug wires (it was 11:00 PM on a work night and we are running all around the city looking for an all night parts place. Someone had told me once that a certain parts place, near downtown, was open 24 hours. Well it might have been open like that at one time, but we could not find it. We gave up and came back home.

Got home about midnight. Got up early the next morning to take him to get new wires and guess what. His bank card did not work, so more money from me.....when will this nightmare ever end. ....

I had to get to work, so I purchased the wires, dropped him off at his friends house with his extra set of keys and he replaced the wires, started the truck with the stuck key and drove it to the repair shop. I went to work, transferred more money to his account so that he could pay the repair shop, with the understanding that as soon as his paycheck cleared, he would transfer the money back to me.

He went to pay and his card was again declined. After several frantic calls to me at work, I gave him the number to the bank and he found out that they had put a security hold on his account because they suspected that someone had used his card fraudulently. They called him, but heT thought that they were calling him because his account had gone a little negative, so he did not bother to call them back. I have never ignored a call from the bank. They took the hold off of his account, and he was able to pay for the repair, but now he is broke again, and not able to get his phone switched.

One more week behind. and one more black cloud has unloaded it shower and moved on.

O yea, the problem at the bank, was because of his use of his debit card at a car repair place, because of a stuck key in the ignition in his old car, that broke a week after he had that problem fixed. We have our suspicions about that car repair place. Two times he has had his care fixed a that well know national repair chain, and two times less than a week after, he had a major unexplained problem with his car. Once causing him to have to replace the car. He picked that repair place, this time I picked the last one.

labor day

Putting off clearing out my craft area has finally come to a end today. I decided that I just couldn't be productive in that space any longer. My little nook, in between the kitchen and the living room has become a drop spot for things. Books, fabric, patterns that I had gotten off the Internet and thought I would like to make, but never gotten around to it. I had to try to organize it into something that I could work in. So, today, D was at work, K and C were off doing things, F and D were out also, so It was just me. I started trying to get it back into order. I moved the furniture around. My cubby is what should be my dinning area in my house, but we don't use it for that. We have not really ever used it for that. At one time it held a table and chairs, but we never really ate there, because it was too small really for a table and 4 chairs and then try to sit around it. You would have to pull the table into the center of the room, and then you could not get to the kitchen to bring the food in. It was just not designed right. So I turned it into my craft area. It is still not big enough, but I can make it work, with a large shelf, and lots of plastic bins to put things in. I spent several hours sorting my scrap material into lights and darks and putting them in bins. I then moved my sewing machine back into my sewing cabinet. It was removed for a while so that I could take it with me when I went to my sewing club meetings. I am just about done, and ready to tackle another project. Can't wait to get in there, next project to make - some cute little purses for a craft sale, then finish the quilt that I started for F and then start a cute little pink and black quilt for k.

Mothering my Mother

My mother recently had surgery, and she is looking so frail and sad. I hate to see her in pain. I want to be with her at the hospital all the time, but I have to work, so I am so torn. Thankfully, my Dad is spending time with her, something that I wasn't sure he was going to do. He is retired, but he spends a lot of time running a business, and when he is not doing that, he is away in Oklahoma at thier farm trying to get a trailer remodeled, because they are planning to move into it as soon as it is finished. I hope he finishing it soon, because she needs to be there in the country, enjoying her time.

She is supposed to go to a rehab center today for 10 days. I hope it goes well.
My mom is not old, but she seems so frail at the moment. She thought that she would be better after the surgery, not in constant pain like before, jump out of bed and take off. Not so..., she is going to have to learn how to do things again, for a few months she will be having to really work to get back to walking again.

Love you Mom, hope you are better soon.

K.

A 15$ mistake, costs $1200...

When you have not parented a child from the very beginning, it is so hard to make sure that they are really doing the right things. This week we had a situation that I feel really bad about for F-Man. It seems that he has such bad luck, or was it just ignorance on his part, or My part. I guess I will never really know.

F-man is 19 years old, and came to live with us, because he had no where else to go. I hear from my husband all the time, that him being in our lives is all my fault.

F-man is many thing's. First he is very sweet with a kind heart. He is quiet, he likes to have fun with his buddies (in my experience, all teen boys, do.) He likes to play the guitar, although he is not great at it, he has a real passion for it, and plays his guitar in the room he shares with D-man all the time. F-man, is withdrawn, this causes everyone to feel alienated from him sort-of. I think that it was his way of coping with his last family situation. He was adopted from foster care when he was 10 years old, and I believe that his adopted family, only adopted for the monthly income they recieved for thier kids. They have 2 biological children and 4 adopted children. F-man's bioliogical brother, told me that he felt there was a difference in treatment between Bio and Adopted kids treatment by thier parents. F-man states that as well.

F-man loves to socialize with Girls, but he seems drawn to Girls a few years younger than him. Most of his friends are in several years behind him in School. That is not to unusual, but my other 3 teen's at the house have friends the same age or older than them. They have left the Highschool drama years behind them.

Anyway, I digress...., F-man purchased a truck from C (Kyna's boyfriend) He worked hard to pay for it - took him about 6 months, The first week he had it (after we told him to take it slow and not to drive on the freeway) He didn't listen and wrecked the truck, He again worked to pay for the repair, all the while, I got stuck taking him here and there. Well a couple of month's go by and everything seems fine. High school is finished (he did not graduate) He tested and got his GED, and I was encouraging him to look into Community college (he has not) Everyone at the house is getting really frustrated with him, because it seems like he is just coasting. Not trying to get a better job- still working the part-time pizza gig.

The something went wrong with the truck - had to put it in the shop (took all of his money) After he got the vehicle back, he noticed that it seemed to be running a little hot. He did not say anything to anyone about it. Just kept driving it.

Last Saturday, he came in from work and said, I barely made it home from work. I said Why. He said the Car was getting hot. I asked if he checked the oil and water lately and he said "no", I don't have any money to buy oil, so I was waiting till my check comes in next week. I sent him out to check the oil and it was not even registering. Off we go to the store, I buy 4 quarts for him.

He comes home put's it in and it is too late. Starts it up and it is clacking and rattling and really running like Crap.... (Engine ruined). Back to Square one.

Now I have to leave the house every night at 10PM to drive 20 minutes - one way, to pick him up from work (He just started a new job) Working from 2:00 pm to 10:30 pm.

It is more money, but I am so frustrated to again have to run around for a Kid that is not even mine. I feel bad for him, but I am really ready for him to be an independent, person. Should I have been better at reminding him that it is important to check things like Oil and water. I just assumed that he was doing it.

The husband seems resigned to ignoring everyone else in the house, so I am working a full time job, coming home from work and fixing dinner for 6 adults (2 of which have to have plates put up to eat later) and leftovers for me to take to work (that is quite a feat) clean up the kitchen, and then leave to pick up F-man and then get up and start all over again. Calgon take me away!!!

Surfer's - Dude

We just got back from S. Padre Island, texas. The Beach, yea. Me - Kyna, Daniel, and Cody. We left on Thursday around midnight, just as soon as Daniel got home from work. He works 2nd shift. The car was packed and ready to go when he got home. It was a long drive, 9 hours, 548 miles. Daniel was pumped and he talked almost the whole way there. That was good, because I couldn't have made the long drive with out that. Kyna n Cody slept or tried to sleep in the overcrowded back seat of the Explorer. They had an Ice chest and clothes bag in the floor, so they had thier legs up on the seat the whole way.

I love road trips, and we don't take them often enough. The only problem is that no one else in my Family likes to go. I guess I am going to have to get brave and just go on my own one of the these days. Anyway - back to this trip.

We drove all night, and driving thru the area of the Texas that is just ranch land, we say a family of Coyote's standing by the side of the road. This area is deslolate, with lots of mesquite trees and cactus and nothing else. It was nice to see nature.

We arrived at SPI around 9 am, then met my Brother and His wife and there two dogs, Star and the newely adopted DUDE. Both dogs are pomaranians, and Dude had a skin problem and all of his hair on his back side fell out. He looked so funny, but he was so sweet. We put our Tent up on thier site on Friday. The kids went to play on the beach, while I set it and I got really burned on my arms and neck.

That night we went out on a boat to see the dolphins, and watch fireworks. It was great. Saturday morning the kids had surf lessons, I had to move the camp site, because my Brother was leaving and we could'nt have the same site on Saturday.

I finally got that done in time to see the kids surf a little, then we relaxed on the beach for a little while, went to a great seafood restaruant and came back to the tent in the evening. The kids were all really burnt and in pain, even tho we did use sunscreen, the Texas sun was just too hot and they all got burnt. The salt water also caused thier feet to swell and they were miserable. We decided to cut our trip short by one day and drive home on Sunday, rather than Monday.

On Sunday, we got up, packed up the camp, drove out the the far end of the island, North padre. It was beautiful, pristine empty beach and large sand dunes. I loved being out there. We picked up shells and enjoyed an hour or so on the beach. Then we drove back into town, the Kids went parasailing and then we got in the car and drove home. The drive home was a little harder because everyone was tired and did not want to talk much.

We got home about 11:30 pm and a large storm hit about 15 minutes later. That storm was bad, and several people were injured and lost thier homes just 10 miles down the road from us.

Thank you JC Penneys

D-Dad went back to work yeasterday and they had a department meeting.
D-Dad does Phone tech work for penneys getting stores up and running when thier registers are not working or some other computer problem. There are quite a few in his department and they worked on a average - quota system. D-Dad always complained that the system had many flaws, and he would start fretting about not making quoto for the month, even before he really knew if that was true or not. D-Dad is a real worrier and a big "IF" man, meaning that when something isnt going well, he worries and worries and works up all of the "If" scenarios in his head. He gets really upset and quiet or angry and vents on me. I hate it, and I have had to deal with this for 25 years. It has been a real strugle and I have had to really lean on the Lord to let it go sometimes. I have had to be the rock in our marriage for quite some time.

Anyway, before I get off on a tangent too much, back to why I love Pennys....

Yesterday at the Company meeting, they are putting his Department and another Department together and changing the Quota system. They said they are going more "customer freindly". He was so happy, the quota system is being revamped and they said that it is not going to be as big a factor anymore. It was such a problem, that some member of his department would only take the easy calls, so they could close more calls. It was only hurting everyone, because that would make the average higher. D-Dad would complain and the higher up's would just say, the formula is correct. D-Dad, takes more of the more difficult calls that take longer and he was not making productivity as often as some of the others who were cheating.

Penneys is changing the system so that calls come right to the first person not on the phone (the way it should be) and if they can't fix the problem, they try and then pass the call on. Penney's is going to look more at the quality of the work, rather than the number of calls you take. Those that take more calls, are really not doing the job, they are just jotting down the problem, and passing the call on.

This new system will start next month, and Boy am I loving Penneys. Thank you Penneys, you just made my home time with my Darling husband less stressful for me.

Signed,
The sounding board (Wife)

Graduation crazyness

This was a really busy weekend. Graduation invitations had to be addressed and pictures of K in her cap and gown. She was beautiful, we took pictures in the yard around all of the greenery

I tooked them to the amazing machine at walgreen's where you stick your memory card in and then it allows you to take out the flaws, crop and charge up the color a little. You can change to black and white and it sends the info straight to thier printing machine and in an hour you have prints. I think that you can do it from home also, but I haven't tried that yet. I have been happier with thier prints, than w-mart, because you can fix them right there. Lets keep this our little secret, because I don't want to have to stand in line to do my picture magic.

I should have done this last week to save on the postage, but I couldn't get K to pose for pictures. I finally got her boyfriend to take her out and do them and she was happy to do it for him. They all turned out very good. No just have to get them to the post office. I have no time, no time.

Mothers day was special. D-Dad was home and he made breakfast YEA ME..., then we went to Mom and Dad's place for a fish fry, MMMMMM. Then K cooked dinner and I did not have to cook at all yesterday. But I did have to clean up the kitchen. That was a really good Sunday.

D-dad goes back to work today after being home for 6 weeks because of surgery. I am glad because he was starting to get anxious staying home all the time. That was hard on everyone else, because he was grumpy... I guess I would be too if I have been thru some of the medical procedures he has had to go thru.

Later.

Prom Pictures

This past weekend was the prom. At first K did not want to go, and Cman did not want to go. But I encouraged and they went, we spent 5 hours trying on dresses and K looked beautiful. We got up early on Saturday, she and I went and picked up her Cap and Gown for graduation, then we went to the beauty college and got K got an up-do and a pedicure. Mom got a pedicure also. Then we had to go pick up some things at the last minute. Went by the florist and got flowers, raced home to make wrist corsages. Had to pick up the Tux from the cleaners at 4:00, then went to pick up Fmans date, went to the botanic gardens for pictures and then dropped them off at the prom. They got there at 6:00 and called at 9:00 and said they were leaving.
What a lot of work for several hours, but I got some really special time with my Daughter and she had a fairy tale evening with her true love.

Later they all said they were glad they went, and had a really wonderful time.

Graduation next.

Spoke to soon

My last post talked how Fman finally got mobil - well that lasted all of 4 days.
He started driving on Monday, and we warned him that he is should really take it slow. He should only drive back and forth to school and to work, all fairly close to home right.

On Friday, on my way home from work, I got a call. Fman had an accident, he was driving on the FREEWAY!!!! He was in friday rush hour traffic and he had two friends with him. They had gone to a neighboring town, (about 10 miles away) to meet some girls (the horndog).

They were on thier way back and the traffic stopped and he didn't He ran right into the back of a trans-am. The guy was pretty cool about it, but Fman's truck is pretty smashed up.

When I got there, to help tow him home (I had the tow rope) and Cman was going to tow him. I really let him have it. He got really quiet and yes mam'd me quite a bit.

It was an ordeal getting the vehicle home. (The rope broke twice) But about an hour later we got home. Fman had to cancel his prom date, no car to drive.

We all knew that it was going to happen, because he is just not very experienced and he does not think things thru very well.

Some lessons must be learned the hard way.

Chow.

A Long time coming

This weekend my Son Dman is moving home. We had to ask him to leave because of his un-healty choices. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and we took
a chance, but it worked.

Dman had to go thru some hard things, and ended up at his Aunt and Uncles house for a while, and it was just far enough away to get him away from some of the bad influences (friends) in his life and to get him to see the truth and get back on track. He is working now it is time for him to move-on before he wears out his welcome so he is moving home. We hope that he does not get back into his old ways, ahd He has assured us that he won't. He will again share a room with Fman. Everyone is working so it won't be to hard for them. It is only temporary until Fman graduates (I Hope, I Hope) we are ready for him to leave.

Speaking of Fman - he finally got his ID problem taken care of. He did not have his original birth certificate or original adoption papers. His parents never filed his records with the state so the state does not have a record of him. We spent several days trying to get his records and finally went to the County Courthouse to file to have his records reopened. Once we were there, they sent us on a "wild goose chase" to several different departments on several different floors, and finally told us that we needed to go to Juvenile services to get it taken care of. (Adoption was done thur Child Protective Services) It was across town, and we only had 30 minutes to get there. I asked the person downtown to give them a call to let them know we were coming, and when she told her our problem, the lady at Juvenile agreed to certify the copy of his adoption record that we had so that he did not have to request to have his record reopened. Fman went the next day and got his license. What a big headache and what a big relief. He is finally able to cart himself where
he needs to go. He had been paying on a car, but could not drive it because of not having a license. After a year it was getting really tiring for him and us getting him back and forth to work.

DDad had major surgery and is now home recovering. It has been nice to have him home on the weekends for a few weeks,as he usually works weekends, but he is going to have to go back to work soon. He has a wound vac system and has to go for a dressing change every 2 days. This vac is a pump that is hooked up to his wound and taped down with suction cups attached to his body, it pulls out all the inpuritys and heals the wound from the inside at the same time, The Doctor felt that his wound was significant enough that he did not want him to get an infection, so he did not completly close it. It takes several months for a wound like his to heal, so he will have to go back to work wearing the vacume. It is awkward to try to go anywhere, so he is pretty much hung out at home. I try to get him to go out when I am with him at home, but he is still tires really easily, so we arent getting out much.

I am having to do all of the heavy work, like yard work and taking out the garbage.
because he can't do it. Hopefully this will be all over soon and we can get back to our normal routines.