My mother recently had surgery, and she is looking so frail and sad. I hate to see her in pain. I want to be with her at the hospital all the time, but I have to work, so I am so torn. Thankfully, my Dad is spending time with her, something that I wasn't sure he was going to do. He is retired, but he spends a lot of time running a business, and when he is not doing that, he is away in Oklahoma at thier farm trying to get a trailer remodeled, because they are planning to move into it as soon as it is finished. I hope he finishing it soon, because she needs to be there in the country, enjoying her time.
She is supposed to go to a rehab center today for 10 days. I hope it goes well.
My mom is not old, but she seems so frail at the moment. She thought that she would be better after the surgery, not in constant pain like before, jump out of bed and take off. Not so..., she is going to have to learn how to do things again, for a few months she will be having to really work to get back to walking again.
Love you Mom, hope you are better soon.
K.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
A 15$ mistake, costs $1200...
When you have not parented a child from the very beginning, it is so hard to make sure that they are really doing the right things. This week we had a situation that I feel really bad about for F-Man. It seems that he has such bad luck, or was it just ignorance on his part, or My part. I guess I will never really know.
F-man is 19 years old, and came to live with us, because he had no where else to go. I hear from my husband all the time, that him being in our lives is all my fault.
F-man is many thing's. First he is very sweet with a kind heart. He is quiet, he likes to have fun with his buddies (in my experience, all teen boys, do.) He likes to play the guitar, although he is not great at it, he has a real passion for it, and plays his guitar in the room he shares with D-man all the time. F-man, is withdrawn, this causes everyone to feel alienated from him sort-of. I think that it was his way of coping with his last family situation. He was adopted from foster care when he was 10 years old, and I believe that his adopted family, only adopted for the monthly income they recieved for thier kids. They have 2 biological children and 4 adopted children. F-man's bioliogical brother, told me that he felt there was a difference in treatment between Bio and Adopted kids treatment by thier parents. F-man states that as well.
F-man loves to socialize with Girls, but he seems drawn to Girls a few years younger than him. Most of his friends are in several years behind him in School. That is not to unusual, but my other 3 teen's at the house have friends the same age or older than them. They have left the Highschool drama years behind them.
Anyway, I digress...., F-man purchased a truck from C (Kyna's boyfriend) He worked hard to pay for it - took him about 6 months, The first week he had it (after we told him to take it slow and not to drive on the freeway) He didn't listen and wrecked the truck, He again worked to pay for the repair, all the while, I got stuck taking him here and there. Well a couple of month's go by and everything seems fine. High school is finished (he did not graduate) He tested and got his GED, and I was encouraging him to look into Community college (he has not) Everyone at the house is getting really frustrated with him, because it seems like he is just coasting. Not trying to get a better job- still working the part-time pizza gig.
The something went wrong with the truck - had to put it in the shop (took all of his money) After he got the vehicle back, he noticed that it seemed to be running a little hot. He did not say anything to anyone about it. Just kept driving it.
Last Saturday, he came in from work and said, I barely made it home from work. I said Why. He said the Car was getting hot. I asked if he checked the oil and water lately and he said "no", I don't have any money to buy oil, so I was waiting till my check comes in next week. I sent him out to check the oil and it was not even registering. Off we go to the store, I buy 4 quarts for him.
He comes home put's it in and it is too late. Starts it up and it is clacking and rattling and really running like Crap.... (Engine ruined). Back to Square one.
Now I have to leave the house every night at 10PM to drive 20 minutes - one way, to pick him up from work (He just started a new job) Working from 2:00 pm to 10:30 pm.
It is more money, but I am so frustrated to again have to run around for a Kid that is not even mine. I feel bad for him, but I am really ready for him to be an independent, person. Should I have been better at reminding him that it is important to check things like Oil and water. I just assumed that he was doing it.
The husband seems resigned to ignoring everyone else in the house, so I am working a full time job, coming home from work and fixing dinner for 6 adults (2 of which have to have plates put up to eat later) and leftovers for me to take to work (that is quite a feat) clean up the kitchen, and then leave to pick up F-man and then get up and start all over again. Calgon take me away!!!
F-man is 19 years old, and came to live with us, because he had no where else to go. I hear from my husband all the time, that him being in our lives is all my fault.
F-man is many thing's. First he is very sweet with a kind heart. He is quiet, he likes to have fun with his buddies (in my experience, all teen boys, do.) He likes to play the guitar, although he is not great at it, he has a real passion for it, and plays his guitar in the room he shares with D-man all the time. F-man, is withdrawn, this causes everyone to feel alienated from him sort-of. I think that it was his way of coping with his last family situation. He was adopted from foster care when he was 10 years old, and I believe that his adopted family, only adopted for the monthly income they recieved for thier kids. They have 2 biological children and 4 adopted children. F-man's bioliogical brother, told me that he felt there was a difference in treatment between Bio and Adopted kids treatment by thier parents. F-man states that as well.
F-man loves to socialize with Girls, but he seems drawn to Girls a few years younger than him. Most of his friends are in several years behind him in School. That is not to unusual, but my other 3 teen's at the house have friends the same age or older than them. They have left the Highschool drama years behind them.
Anyway, I digress...., F-man purchased a truck from C (Kyna's boyfriend) He worked hard to pay for it - took him about 6 months, The first week he had it (after we told him to take it slow and not to drive on the freeway) He didn't listen and wrecked the truck, He again worked to pay for the repair, all the while, I got stuck taking him here and there. Well a couple of month's go by and everything seems fine. High school is finished (he did not graduate) He tested and got his GED, and I was encouraging him to look into Community college (he has not) Everyone at the house is getting really frustrated with him, because it seems like he is just coasting. Not trying to get a better job- still working the part-time pizza gig.
The something went wrong with the truck - had to put it in the shop (took all of his money) After he got the vehicle back, he noticed that it seemed to be running a little hot. He did not say anything to anyone about it. Just kept driving it.
Last Saturday, he came in from work and said, I barely made it home from work. I said Why. He said the Car was getting hot. I asked if he checked the oil and water lately and he said "no", I don't have any money to buy oil, so I was waiting till my check comes in next week. I sent him out to check the oil and it was not even registering. Off we go to the store, I buy 4 quarts for him.
He comes home put's it in and it is too late. Starts it up and it is clacking and rattling and really running like Crap.... (Engine ruined). Back to Square one.
Now I have to leave the house every night at 10PM to drive 20 minutes - one way, to pick him up from work (He just started a new job) Working from 2:00 pm to 10:30 pm.
It is more money, but I am so frustrated to again have to run around for a Kid that is not even mine. I feel bad for him, but I am really ready for him to be an independent, person. Should I have been better at reminding him that it is important to check things like Oil and water. I just assumed that he was doing it.
The husband seems resigned to ignoring everyone else in the house, so I am working a full time job, coming home from work and fixing dinner for 6 adults (2 of which have to have plates put up to eat later) and leftovers for me to take to work (that is quite a feat) clean up the kitchen, and then leave to pick up F-man and then get up and start all over again. Calgon take me away!!!
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